Do you know EXACTLY where your child is?

We know all of our neighbors and the kids our own children hang out with. Our children know not to talk to strangers, not to approach a car with someone in it (especially if they beckon them) and to run if they feel threatened in any way.

We’ve been to the site where the registered sex offenders in our neighborhood are noted, with photos and addresses. Perhaps we’ve even shown these photos to our children and driven by these houses to point them out.

Stranger danger is taught in the schools. Local karate and safety classes even teach them how to respond to a stranger who tries to grab them. We talk about the difference between “good” strangers (i.e. police officer, mail person, mother of a classmate) and “bad” strangers (someone completely unknown to us or tries to get us to come with them).

This past April, eight-year-old Sandra Cantu of Tracy, California was last seen on a surveillance video skipping along in her mobile home park. I’ve been to this area, and it’s like any nice community we have here in Wisconsin. Tracy is the place a lot of Bay Area people moved to in order to get away from the crime and congestion of the big city life, and was voted one of “America’s safest communities” in 2007. Sandra knew all of her neighbors and knew which ones to steer clear of. Her parents made their children aware of the registered sexual offenders in the area.

Sandra came home from school, went to a friend’s house and was last seen on camera playing outside near her own mobile home. Yet Sandra disappeared shortly after that. Her parents had no idea where she’d gone. The usual suspects were questioned and their homes searched.

Ten days later, Sandra’s body was found stuffed into a suitcase in an irrigation ditch not far from her home. Soon after, a Sunday school teacher and mother of a five-year-old girl turned herself in to the police as Sandra’s killer. She lives in the same mobile home park and Sandra often played with the woman’s daughter. They knew each other. She was NOT a stranger.

I’m certain Sandra’s parents thought they’d protected and advised their children against dangers. This was a bizarre and rare incident, but still needs to be considered. How can other parents learn from this? Know EXACTLY where your child is. If Sandra knew to go tell her Mom where she was going before she went to this woman’s home, even if it was a family member or neighbor, they would have known where she was. Teach your child to let you know exactly where they are going. If they are in front of the house playing, have them tell you. If they decide to play in the backyard instead, all they have to do is peek in and let you know. If they’ve been invited to a neighbor’s house, even for just a moment, they should tell you.

It seems over-protective and maybe even silly, but if Sandra knew to do this, she might be alive today.

My son isn’t old enough yet to play outside by himself (he’s four), but neighbor kids do come and go from our house. One child (a sixth grader) carries a cell phone and will immediately call her mom to tell her that she is at my house. Her mother knows exactly where she is at all times.

It’s difficult to talk to children about “bad people.” We want our children to stay innocent as long as possible, but they need to be educated.

I am a kidnap survivor so this topic is near and dear to my heart. In my case, I was not taught much about stranger danger and, in fact, was taught to respect and obey all adults. Because of this, I was taken right in front of other children, with a sack pulled over my head, and carried away by a passing vagrant. I believed if I was “good” and did what he said, I would be ok.

Luckily, though several hours later, I was found because the other children reported what happened. I know I am alive today because of those children and not because of the adults who were supposed to be caring for me; they would not have known where to look for me.

What can we do as not only parents but a community to protect our children? Here are some resources available to you.

1. Our own Wisconsin Wausau Police Department offers the SafeAssured program. There are scheduled ID events at the schools and local businesses, but you can also take your child into the lobby of the police department to enroll. To learn more about this program, contact Sergeant Krzykowski at 715-421-6207. 
2. Polly Klaas Foundation offers a free “Child Safety Kit” you can order free from their web site.
   
3. McGruff the Crime Dog offers McGruff Safe Kids ID Kits.
   
4. There is a great deal of information, as well as photos and information on missing children at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s web site
   
5. After you watch this short video, you’ll order the “Safe From Harm” DVD. The National Alert Registry is covering the expense of the DVD, you only have to pay the $3.98 shipping/handling. Watch the preview video.